Obligatory "LOL THORDIC" post...

[Fred]

Poor Thordic thought it would be a good idea to eat one of the leftover wings from the final round of the Venom Challenge...

I think he's washing his mouth out with hand soap at this point...

[BobTheCow]

I saw a reference to some sort of wing-eating/shitting contest on AO, what's the story there?

[Fred]

the wings, and their stupid hot sauce, was part of the Venom Challenge, put on by Mongoose of Venomous Designs and BigEvil...

[Thordic]

Basically they had a contest to see who could eat the hottest shit. Mongoose on AO is a chef and he made his own super-powered hot sauce for the event.

I didn't participate, but afterwards me and Gustavo (Tobe) wanted to put a plate on the bar just to fuck with people (we're both still children). Mongoose said I could if I ate one first.

The first two or three minutes were fine. Hot as hell, but the guy who made the sauce did a good job. It tasted good. The burn kind of creeps up on you.

I went to immediately wash my hands, and by the time I turned the sink on I knew I was in trouble. It felt like someone was taking a belt sander to every surface of my mouth at once.

I had a sink in front of me, and water seemed like a good idea. You know how they say in a panic you'll do things you KNOW are stupid just because your brain goes on auto-pilot? Its true. I KNOW water makes capsaicin symptoms worse. It doesn't wash the oil away, it spreads it around. So now not only did I ensure that EVERY part of my mouth is on fire, but now its in my throat too (which had somehow been mercifully spared for the first few minutes).

Water gives temporary relief. And by temporary, I mean about a second. So I'm sitting there slurping handful after handful of water out of my hands. I'm bright red, tears are streaming out of my eyes, and I'm sweating like crazy.

I see the soap dispenser. Doesn't soap break up oil? Its worth a shot! (Note: It didn't work. I tried multiple times).

After about 5 minutes, my friend finally showed up with a bowl of ice cream.

The entire ordeal probably lasted 10-15 minutes.

You know what though, it was bearable. The good thing about capsaicin is that you know it doesn't last very long. No matter how hot it is, you only have to bear it for 10-15 minutes and then you'll be ok. It doesn't do any actual damage, and afterwards I actually felt awesome because it kicks off adrenaline production. I was wired as hell.

But the next day?

That's something I wish upon no man. Unlike EATING the capsaicin, the next day you don't know if it's going to hit once. Or twice. Or four times.

Before I ate the wing, I had a pitcher or two of beer. After I ate the wing, I drank for about 4 more hours. Car bombs, vodka tonics, some more beer. Had a good night.

Unfortunately, as I'm sure many people here know, sometimes drinking gives you a mild case of the runs the next day.

Except, instead of the runs, its supercharged fire liquid blasting out of your ass like the exhaust port on the space shuttle. And it doesn't stop. Every time you go to the bathroom you are in for 15 minutes of pain. And you just have to deal with it (unless you really do shove ice cream up your ass, which seems like a perfectly normal idea when this is happening to you).

So if you ever feel like you can handle eating something retardedly spicy, you can do it. But think of your poor anus, and say no. And needless to say I didn't put any on the bar. A lawsuit likely would have followed.

[SCpoloRicker]

I'm not quoting that post, but "this", "cool story, bro", etc. I have no qualms admitting that I do not fuck about with hot sauce.

[Muzikman]

Do I have permission to repost that story elsewhere? It's way too funny and really wish I had been there.

[Thordic]

Haha go for it.

[Fred]

There's video of the wing contest on bigevil.com, in which you can see Thordic, Tobetobe (Gustavo) and Oldsoldier cheering me on...

... the funniest part is that he ate the wing without provocation... AFTER THE CONTEST... I can't watch the videos, my stomach gets angry with me...

http://www.bigevilonline.com/showthread.php?t=4515

[oldsoldier]

Thor & I were last men standing drinking that night. I gotta say, his first shit, he said didnt hurt too bad. Then I got his text, that he shit fire (or something to that affect)-I almost ran off the road laughing. Then, I sorta felt bad, for the contestants that ate a LOT more than one.....that had to have burned your eyes too....